Wish: To stay motivated to work on my online business

[Wogglebug]

Obstacle: Me.

I don't know if anyone is still here but I need to vent and I still consider this a safe place.

Once again I find myself working in a good enough job that is becoming a time and soul hog. Yet, when I'm home and have time to work on my businesses I find myself instead using television, books and video games to divert my attention from the angst in my life.

I am an uber-scanner. I can only stay motivated for a couple of hours at a time then I lose interest. I am currently working on a craft book that I will be self publishing through Amazon. It's the first book in a series and it's in its final stages. Getting myself to work on it is like pulling teeth. I should have been done months ago.

How do I use my dissatisfaction with my job to keep me motivated to work on my business? Instead of using other things to divert my attention from the problem.

Wogs.

[Tituba]

The best motivator is accountability. Is there someone in your life you can talk to and have them check in with you that you are keeping your promises?

[pattyn]

What Tituba said! And even more effective if the person you're accountable to will do the parts of the work that don't require your expertise. Hire someone to help with the book and set a schedule for feeding her or him information and decisions.

[Wogglebug]

Hi Tituba and Pattyn.

Thanks for responding. I remember you Tituba from back in 2003 when i was posting quite a lot. Time flies.

I think you might be right about me needing some accountability. I have always had a problem with accountability in that I don't like to be accountable to anyone, even myself. I am currently working with a business counselor and there is some accountability to her. She doesn't really push me though. Problem is if I ask her to push me, she will and then I will back off completely. It's the little girl in me saying "nobody tells me what to do".

My brother and I discussed getting together monthly to discuss our business plans. It was great and very motivational, the one and only time we met. I guess we both have some issues with follow through.

I'm afraid that hiring someone at this time isn't possible or practical. In the future,for sure, but not now.

Since posting this I've been researching using the pain from a bad job to help motivate me to move forward on my business. I found a good site that's helping me to dig into the underlying feelings that I need to unearth to figure out whats holding me back.
I did the same thing with one of Barbara's book clubs and it was really helpful to me.

Thanks for your suggestions and for listening to me vent. I'll try to get my brother to meet up again. In the meantime I'll continue with digging to find out what my underlying issues are that are holding me back.
Wogs

[pattyn]

I hope you find yourself moving forward again soon, Wogglebug!

[Tituba]

Check around for a networking group in your area. If there are none, then start one. Surrounding yourself with others who are creating their own path will do wonders for your motivation. If you form a group on your own, then you could meet and talk about steps you are taking with your business. The next time the group meets, each will be held accountable to the others. If your resistance is such that this accountability angers you, then you do need to work on that as you won't get off the starting block if you are standing in your own way. We believe the stories we tell ourselves. I urge you to reach what Barbara wrote about resistance.

[Elaine Glimme]

Woggglebug, I could have written your wish. Oh, wait, I did. Over and over. And I'm still posting it. Over and over. WHat you are doing is hard. (for me at least.) I have two writers groups that support me in person, and on the Internet, I post on the "stepper" thread here under "success stories.." Also, I take the Nanowrimo challenge almost every April, July, and November. The challenge for April and July is to do a specified amount of work - you specify how much. Also you specify whether you'll count words, pages, hours, etc. And you get a "cabin" of twenty people whom you can chat with. The cabin size varies. Also there are a lot of support staff and threads about publishing, encouraging, etc. on Nanowrimo. If you meet your challenge, you get a bunch of winner goodies. Don't get too excited about the winner goodies. You get recognition, and you can buy "winner" T-shirts, and you get discounts from publishing companies. It's free, but you''ll get e-mails asking for donation, which you can ignore if money is tight.

No pressure, but you're right, the Boards aren't as popular as they used to be. So if you want to post on the "stepper" thread, we'd love to have you.

Besides a support group, another thing that works for me is to set very small goals. Like half a page of writing, or finding out if they had a shark exhibit in the Baltimore national aquarium in 2005, or - you get the picture. ANd I try to write every day. Boy, have I ever muffed that one! But once I get into writing, I can keep going. Once I stop, it's hard to get motivated to write again.

Oh, in Nanowrimo, November's goal is 50,000 words written in the month of November. If that doesn't work, you can ignore the goal, and still write as much as you want and get encouragement.

Good luck.

[Jason]

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[SquarePeg]

I was thinking "pro-nagger" as I was reading the first post in this thread. I've never used it for real, but I think others on this site have.

But then when I read, "No one tells me what to do" it occurred to me that maybe a doubter might be more effective than a supporter. If you're the oppositional type I think you might be, the best motivator might be one who says, "You can't do business -- you're too [enter negative trait here]."

One other comment I make to these kinds of posts is this: how is your health? If you're worn down from poor diet, lack of sleep or even a low level infection, it can be hard to follow a passion on your free time. With a full time job you might have company sponsored health insurance. A wellness visit might have 0 copay and no fee for blood work. Some insurance plans cover massage or other therapeutic work.

Anyway I wish you well!

[Wogglebug]

Thanks for all of your responses. I am moving, very slowly, towards finishing my book.

Ha, Square Peg, you have me pegged. (pun intended) A professional doubter would have a much better chance of motivating me than a pro-nagger would.

Thanks Jason and Tituba. Those are great ideas. I am, for the most part, a complete introvert. So starting my own networking group or writing an ad for an accountability partner is not going to happen. I have looked for groups in my area but have found nothing so far. (very rural area)

Elaine, thanks for the invite to the "stepper" thread. I will check it out.

I seem to work in circles. I work on something for a time, get bored, move on to something else, get bored, move on again and eventually get back to the thing I was working on in the first place. I'm back on the book and almost finished with the editing. I'm still hoping to have it finished by October.

[Elaine Glimme]

Hi, Wogglebug,

Good luck with your business. Writing and keeping motivated is hard under the best of circumstances. Besides the stepper thread on Barbara's Boards, I have two writers groups that help me to stay motivated. Also, there's a web site Nanowrimo that sponsors a challenge. In November the challenge is to write 50,000 words in November. If you're editing, it can be editing 50,000 words. ALso, in April and July they sponsor a challenge, but you can choose how many words you want to write. or you can set a a number of pages or number of hours or whatever makes sense to you. I find Nanowrimo very motivating, Some people don't. Others do. They have about a million people world wide signing up for it, so it works for a lot of people. It is free, but they'll ask for donations which you don't have to give if you don't want to.

Right now, I'm trying to come out of a slump. I've had other things take up my time, and when I stop writing, it's hard to start up again.

You said you're writing a craft book. So I assume there are pictures as well as words. What is harder for you? the pictures, or the words?

Oh, and ins spite of my procrastination and reluctance, I've self published two books, and helped my mother in law publish her memoirs. So, for me anyway, the support works.

Again, good luck to you.

[tui]

'No one tells me what to do'.
You could take that out of the equation, couldn't you? If you were to tell others how you like to be offered suggestions then no one you value would make the error of 'telling'. (It's so easy to fall into the familiar 'school' model.) If you need it delivered differently - please say, instead of going without information that could be both useful and valuable - once you've tweaked it to suit yourself.

For your book - what has to be done? What works best for you? What settles you in to work? Who do you have to catch up with?

Coming home and flopping. Fair enough. However, a change of motivation might be in order.
The more you tell yourself about the awfulness of the ho-hum job the more you KNOW you need a reward, or relief, or 'me time'. If after work is the only time available - that's what you'll take. Valuable, essential ME time. Sleep doesn't count, unfortunately.

Is 'early to bed, earlier to rise' an option for you? If you got up earlier and used your 'best' time FOR YOU, and the book, you could come home from work, putter about, work on something completely different from 'office work' and head to bed knowing you've fed your heart and soul.

If you get a decent lunch break - could you do editing then? Print out the pages you want to work on and do it in a place that actually supports that kind of activity. An office. Your brain's already keyed up for the task. No one's telling you; you're simply tacking the editing on to 'more of the same'. Catch and use the flow, perhaps.

You don't have to do this. You GET to do this. And it might help if you leave the ho-hum job where it belongs when you walk out at night. You get to go home, have a yummy supper, unwind, restore yourself and capture ideas from what you're seeing on screen or online. Seeds for the future.

The Job pays the bills; gives you resources for creating and concentrates your creative work by providing a limit on the amount of time available. Structure and discipline. Are those things you value now?

Follow through. What will you do every day? What structure will you create for yourself? What are you measuring?
If you find a week has passed and the intention has been added to the Underworld Road - STOP. (Or not, as you choose ) How could you change it? Make it easier and near-effortless? Put it into a different time in your day? You've just had feedback that the system needs tweaking if you want it to deliver the goodies. It has very little to do with 'you'. Systems don't care about your work ethic and weaknesses. Scoundrels and saints can all get a ticket from the system for the bus, no? Set up your systems to deliver what you need day to day.

If you work in a job that has been in place for a long time and someone else designs/implements changes and measures the effectiveness - you're just there to run it - it can look like weird new territory to actually explore what's 'under the hood'. It's worth the effort. No excuses required.

Over to you.

[SquarePeg]

Is 'early to bed, earlier to rise' an option for you?

I know you weren't directing this to me, but I feel compelled to comment that I always considered myself a night owl and did my best creative work after everyone (meaning, "normal" people) went to bed. I formed this belief in my, er, formative years, so I'd put off until 10pm or so all the blog posts and such that I wanted to create. Well, after several night owl sessions during which I'd either space out or actually fall asleep at the computer, I gave up the late night work and dropped into bed at 10pm (or even 9pm). Then I'd find myself wide awake at 5am unable to fall back asleep. Finally after several months of this, I decided to try getting up at 5am and doing my creative work first thing*. And I was astounded that I was able to make that early morning time productive! I wish someone like you had urged me to reassess my schedule five years ago. Because instead of defending that "I'm a night owl" belief, I'd've just taken advantage of the natural tendency that older people have of an advanced circadian rhythm.

* The first thing usual involves a trip to the bathroom. The second thing usually involves feeding the cats. The dog factors in there, too, of course, but he settles down eventually if I maintain a determined look of "I'm busy".

[Wogglebug]

Hi all,
I just checked in last night and saw some new posts for me. Thanks so much for the helping hand.

Tui said: "The more you tell yourself about the awfulness of the ho-hum job the more you KNOW you need a reward, or relief, or 'me time'.

This resonated with me. I realized that it's very true for me. The more horribly I feel about the job the more I want to hide away and forget everything, including working on getting out of there. I think I need to look at it all from a new perspective.

I'm already an early to bed early to rise person. I generally get up at 4:00 a.m. and work for 2 to 3 hours before getting ready for work. I do the same on non-work outside the house days too.

What will you do every day? What structure will you create for yourself? What are you measuring?

This is another place where I stumble. Structure and measuring. I have been spending the last 10 days or so trying to set up some kind of goals and structure for myself with measures and deadlines. It's been rough. I'm still working on it.

It should be easy to go after what we want in life. Why some of us make it so difficult on ourselves I'll never know.
Have a great day everyone!
Wogs

[Elaine Glimme]

Hi, Wogs,

How would you motivate someone else? Like me for example? It's November, and I've committed to 50,000 words this month. So far I've written 8. Also, I can't seem to stop nibbling, and will be really unhealthy if I don't quit it, and soon. I am also stubborn, and don't like to do what other people tell me to do.

But this thread is supposed to be about you, and I'm not trying to Bogart it, but I do mean it - how would you motivate someone else? I hope you finish your book, because completing something is pretty awesome, but no pressure.