"So what do you do?"

[HollyL]

That's the question that has been driving me nuts; I meet someone, and guaranteed, within the first two minutes, they're asking me "so what do you do?" I never had an answer. Back when I was a software engineer I could just say "I'm a software engineer", but let's face it, after ten years of being an invalid I can't really claim that any more. I could say I'm a housewife", but then the next question is "do you have kids?" and when I say I don't, I get some really weird looks. Like, "if you don't have any kids, why don't you have a job like a normal person?" Or I could say "I'm an invalid", except I'm technically all better now, it's just a matter of building up my stamina, and I don't <i>look</i> sick (when I do look sick, I stay home.) But now, finally, I think I have an answer: I'm a professional dilettante. What do you guys think? Am I going to get more weird looks? Should I go with it?

[yonuh]

You'll probably have to explain no matter what you say. Of course, with my twisted sense of humor, I could think of several responses that would probably offend someone.

[HollyL]

You'll probably have to explain no matter what you say. Of course, with my twisted sense of humor, I could think of several responses that would probably offend someone.

Like what? (I have a twisted sense of humor too, sometimes.)

[guinnessue]

Oh, don't get me started. I am apparently in a mood tonight, and I've already come up with a couple of come-backs. I do like the "professional dilettante," though.

[yonuh]

Oh, things like \"I spend my time thinking up answers to stupid questions.\" \"I can't tell you, it's top secret.\" \"I'm working on a book about (insert whatever). Would you like to be in it?\" \"It depends, what day is it?\" I could really have fun with this, but it could take all night.

[yonuh]

Maybe we should make this a game? It sounds like fun.

[guinnessue]

I'm developing alien life forms...oh, I see you've beat me to it. Try to irritate people like you...is it working? (for the really obnoxious ones).

[Scenario Thinker]

"I do a lot of things. Which one do you want to know about?" "You mean for money? That'll be $10 first." "I never answer a question that will establish my relative social status." "Do?!!! I just got fired and divorced (my wife was the boss), my dog just died, my shrink just said we've got our work cut out for us. Oh, what else? How much time do ya got?" I have a real story. Our current CEO, past president is very young looking, and blonde to boot. He wears his hair kinda long ... pretty much the Bill Gates kinda look (without glasses). One time at a corporate function, someone asked him what he did for the company, and he replies "I'm the president". The other guy starts laughing out loud. Imagine his surprise ....

[Rain Dove]

All of you, I love your spirit! Seriously, though, why in the world and in our society, do we constantly get treated as if our existence has no worth unless and until we can justify it?!!!! So, then, maybe one of my answers would be, \"If I have a good enough answer for that, does it mean, then, I now have a right to exist?!!!\" \"What is a good enough answer for that to justify my existence?\" Whew!! Jesus! Who or what can you possibly be if you can't justify being a good enough human doing? Well, jeez! Sure it is noble to earn a living, but why the desperation for a recognized status in somebody, such that one would not first want to know, Holly, just, how do you describe yourself as a human being? Is that somehow not the most immediately relevant issue?

[maisie]

My reply usually starts with , "well at the moment I'm into..." and talk about whatever interest, hobby, research, etc. that I'm scanning at the time. It's interesting to observe the look on people's faces. The ones who were actually asking how you are earning money tend to get a puzzled expression. Feeling uncomfortable about asking again what they really want to know, they tend to change to another subject. Others who are actually interested in your life, tend to smile and ask more about what your into.

[pmetcher]

Great thread Holly. I, like you, have been bothered by this question because it supposes that what you do is more important than who you are and wraps your total being up in a few words - never made sense to me!

[Thinker]

We currently live in a culture that is only interested in the surface. What you look like as a consumer of goods, and what you do to earn the money to consume are how you are identified in this 21st C. Shallow it is, but that is how it is. It is only about money. Since quitting work I reply that I am a self-employed business manager and researcher. I am in the business of managing my own and my husband's interests, my home, what we eat, home decorator. I am available as career consultant to my sons at any time they so desire, as well as counsellor for friends, I run child care should it be needed for my grand-daughter, accountancy and book keeping for my husband's contract work is very demanding. I write and study about life and all its intricacies. Currently I am researching what sort of lifestyle I might want to have when I retired. I am considering giving myself a business name to further throw such inane (and often immature) enquirers off the scent. Often when these questions are asked it is just to open the door for such people to bend your ear on how wonderful they are! Doh! I tried being a mature age student and saw the philistinic blind come down over their eyes ! I wonder what Leonardo would have said - brainstormers input on that one?

[Tituba]

"do you have kids?"

"None that I know of" (this is only funny when a woman says it)

[duckie]

The real question is why do we even care what other people think? It is not their question that makes us feel inferior, it is the fact that we ourselves think that what we do somehow isn't enough. I say take pride in whatever you do no matter how "pointless" it might seem to the outside world. If that is impossible to do maybe the real problem is that you yourself is the one who is not happy with the situation and/or have trouble accepted yourself as you really are.

[Thinker]

No argument there, but nevertheless being 'different' when sheep are rewarded with approval is not always comfortable or possible for everyone. It still means being 'contrary' to those who are not on here with us coming up with alternatives. If you go against the flow then you gotta expect obstacles. Barbara points out that :- 'Amost everyone in our society takes it as a self-evident truth-obvious, simple common sense-that Scanners are doing something wrong.' R2Cp.9 And as she says further, Scanners believe this themselves. The only answer is spreading the word that alternatives are possible, nay desirable. I have had plenty of flak for having alternative ideas on health discussed elsewhere on this board. Lateral thinking makes people uncomfortable. What would happen when they asked 'so what do you do ?' you just answer - 'Why?\"